THE ORIGINAL EST ©

am i getting from bad to worst?

2012-02-02T00:12:00.001+08:00

just uploaded another video last night and guess what. it hasnt even gotten 50 views D: i stayed up till 130am for that. am i getting from bad to worst?
#depression

but on a happier note. immediately when i uploaded, sth amazing happened.

my ACG mate - Valerie Faith, she liked my vid & shared on her facebook. sth NO ONE did ever!
another happy thing,
my youtuber mate - Fangliny, she texted me that the cover made her tear in class. sth i nvr thought anyone ever would...not with my voice.

so i guess, even though its less than 50 views, i got some really nice feedback. shouldnt be as depressed right? haish, i still am.
#depression #depression #depression

dedication for you

2012-01-31T23:08:00.002+08:00

here is a simple and gentle dedication to all those who are close by and are struggling.

jiayou :D

2012 Chinese New Year

2012-01-26T13:24:00.001+08:00

NO PHOTOS! it is quite abnormal for me to take no photos for CNY reunions. this shows the aptitude of how 'in bad shape' i was.

the first 3 days of our Chinese new year has passed. it wasn't the best Chinese new year I've got. why? i was down with stomach flu ( either that or food poisoning ). vomited & diarrhoea filled my past 3 days. i'm glad i'm recovering by merely resting & 2 panadol extras. barely eating...

although i was a lil sad that this year, i've got no invites from friends to visit at their houses. its like. i've got alotta friends but...well...maybe not so many.

it was a miracle that i could still go visiting throughout this episode. and also that i didn't wish i had a guy to take care of me. cause i knew God already was.

a truly unique CNY experience indeed.

WICKED, the musical - after

2012-01-21T01:01:00.002+08:00

MBS's circle line - bayfront is open!

just caught the musical yesterday. it was..oh so lovely ♥ ! paid $109-early birds prx(5%disc)- for the AreaC seats-lvl2@ MBS. at first, a lil disappointed as i hoped we got the first level seats. however, as soon as the show began, all thoughts were re-directed and i realised i was grinning from ear to ear throughout the whole musical, humming along to some of the familiar songs.

hurried dinner-ing at Toast Box 15mins before the musical showed.
we RAN to our seats :P

the highlight of the 1st half was when elphie casted her own levitation spell. she was high up in the air & there were bright rays shining, intersecting across her and she looked like a star. it was a beau. it ended all too soon. from where i sat, i could see some of the crew's work, boy, it was alotta hardwork, kudos to'em. the cast was awesome, their singing, dancing, live entertainment stars hitting FIVE outta Five! glinda was so cute, with her habitual cutesy kick. i never knew about Fevor, the lover between glinda and elphie. elphie and fevor kissed too, they were only acting but it was so real. professionals indeed.

this is David Harris, playing Fevor, in the Musical. he had huge arms, thats some neat stuff.
he was signing his albums after the show.

we headed to the gift shop & i had to purchase a merchandise.

if you see me wear'n sth with a heart, a green & white witch, you'll know :D

apart from those 2 songs i mentioned previously, this is the new song(which i dint remember hearing) &
i love this new song, ♥ especially when elphei sung it:

shall i cover this?

anw, im so grateful God gave me the opportunity to catch this musical. brought my passion for music to life again. i hope that i can be a part of this kinda musicals, if its in God's will.

WICKED the Musical - before

2012-01-19T15:37:00.003+08:00

i've waited a long long time for this musical. and i mean , i really long time. and i just wanna share this utmost favourite song of mine.

then followed by this all time gLee favourite.

and guess what!!!?
imma catch it live in exactly 4hours time! my heart is racing faster that the jetplanes. i just cannot exclaim to you how excited i am for this musical. its gonnabe awesome, i just know it. poeple who've caught it, toldme its amazing and i wont regret it. im so blessed by God to catch this with @RacharitO & @GiuliaOsanna ♥

this is the 2nd musical @ MBS and i caught both TheLionKing and This. im so blessed, truly am. if it werent for this job, i wont be able to watch'em both.

and!! @Beatrice and i are gonnabe covering the 2nd song - defyinggravity! watch out for our cover :D

also, if you are keen to cover the 1st song - forgood with me, drop me a comment with your contacts!

Core Team

2012-01-18T12:05:00.001+08:00

am still an asst.coordinator in music ministry, in the Psalms100.2FM Core Team. BUT am also a new addition to the Bridging Lights Core Team. I am proud to announce that I've officially joined them! tho not holding any major roles, but a supporting role. reason being that my new vision in 2012 will be like this:

#1-Church

#2-Family

#3-Friends

#1
the Church includes the community, its members & all its activities, everything that is related to serving the Lord.

#2
my beloved Family, who i sorta neglected in 2011. cause i was constantly out of the house & making all sorts of plans with friends.

#3
dear friends, in 2011, i spent a lot of time mingle-ing with y'all, and don't get me wrong cause i love to mingle. but just that i need to set my priorities straight.

想不開就不想，得不到就不要...但是...不要太快逃跑。

You Are More

2012-01-16T12:12:00.001+08:00

this song was played during Amplify Friday on 13th Jan, during Worship.
it struck me. especially the chorus:
You are more than
My words could ever say
You are Lord over all
Over all of my days
I will see this season through
I will fix my eyes on You
Only You

cause im at this crossroad in life, uncertain where God will lead me.
and i tried relying on myself, but im inadequate.
so imma rely on the Lord Almighty. . .

Y _ _ .

2012-01-12T17:59:00.002+08:00

its been a long time since i came around, its been a long time but im back in town. but this time im not leaving without y.......yanyan !

just using Gaga's catchy song to express my heart for this snack. bought by g.darling. must be her way of making it up to me for cancelling our prev. lunch date. hehe! she's always sweet. but im sweeter! thats why so chubby luh hor. thanks gracie angel darling!

ps; g.darling, next time meet, you must talk more! dont always let me carry on and on about my nonsensical ideas ok? hope that this period of you having to wear denchers & everythingeverything faster pass by!

are you a Sweet or Salty ?

2012-01-05T18:12:00.000+08:00

Popcorn!

whenever you go to the theatre, you'll definitely pop some corn or something to munch while feasting your eyes on cute babes/ hot hunks. or lovey-dovey family entertainment. well, there are people i know who buy popcorn, just cause. no reason whatsoever. take my bosses for example, they just gotten some & share them with me!

i first stumbled upon this at the Theatre in Kallang Leisure Park.
anyways, for all popcorn lovers, here are some facts/ made believe facts about your taste buds!

Salty popcorn eaters tend to be down-to-earth, take-charge types who tell it like it is and prefer grim reality to la la land any day. They are inclined to also enjoy potato chips, salted nuts, sandwiches, hot dogs with ketchup and mustard, hamburgers with pickles and other salty things. They make loyal and steadfast companions on whom you can always count for an honest opinion, even when it's not necessarily the one you want to hear. Exponents of character-building tough love rather than wishy-washy-gooey-sticky soft love that does nobody any good, they tend to be excellent disciplinarians, good parents and responsible animal owners. They have strong moral values and even stronger opinions. Popularity holds scant appeal for them while integrity is held in the highest esteem. Their taste in movies leans towards gritty realistic dramas, natural disaster doozies, wartime epics, spy movies, martial arts showcases, action-packed blockbusters and road trip flicks. They tend not to believe in fairytales and take happy endings with a pinch of salt (just like their popcorn).

Sweet popcorn eaters tend to be romantic souls who hanker after happy endings and believe in true love, even when their heart's been broken and patched... and broken again. They tend to also like ice cream, chocolate, cookies, candy and other sweet things. They make good friends who will always try to cheer you up when you're down, and will gloss over the ugly truth to avoid hurting your feelings. If you ask a sweet popcorn-eating friend if your bum looks fat in a certain pair of pants, he/she will say no - the pants are poorly cut... or simply tell a sweet little white lie. Sweet popcorn eaters respond to pretty, bright colours and bright, bouncy pop tunes. They have lots of positive energy and radiate optimism like a little gob of sugar-coated sunshine. Their taste in movies veers towards romcoms, charming animated fables, modern day fairytales, weepies with happy endings, historical dramas, feelgood musicals and anything with an uplifting moral where the bad guys get their asses kicked and the good guys get their just desserts (or sweet popcorn).

-credits to Melody

Food for thought , esp if you thought Salty is better than Sweet:

Popcorn is a great snack as it’s low in calories and contains fibre. Choose sweet rather than salted popcorn.

p.s. I am sweet popcorn lover. how about you?

2NE1 - LONELY

2012-01-03T13:19:00.001+08:00

just read the english translation of this song. and...it brought me to remember something.

"Baby I'm sorry neowa isseodo nan lonely" - 1:59
"Baby I’m sorry, even when I’m with you, I’m Lonely."

i am reminded why i broke up with him in the first place. its quite app that this song popped in my head today :)
as to whether i miss him ( like she asked me ), i said "hmm...probably? maybe? but... Nahhhh, i dont miss him. i just miss having someone close to me, someone ... like a boyf." ( i sorta lost my bestfriend too. )

and the next question comes: why dont you go get one?

Fr William Goh said that, some girls got so hurt in a relationship that they spent the rest of their lives staying single. why? cause they wanna avoid the possibility to getting hurt again! he pity them, so do i. . .cause i belong there. no need for denial on that ''grey area''.

hurt from losing someone you care about and largely due to unforgetable, forgiven but horrible words of rejection: "i dnt fcuking care even if you die."

BUT as i made my death-bed confession at Awaken, i've come to realise that if i were to die that night, who cares if im single /attached /married? the main and most important thing is that I WANT TO MEET GOD IN HEAVEN.

God, thank you for the constant reminder ♥

welcoming the new year

2012-01-02T22:21:00.000+08:00

in a blink of an eye, 2011 is over. 2012 has arrived and im pretty insecure for what is to come for me. insecurity is just a feeling. but at the back of my mind, i am constantly reminded that God has his plan secured in place for me, for good and not of harm. (Jer 29:11) but one main thing that i have to keep constant is to listen to God's calling and pray to him, THEN he will listen to my prayers (Jer 29:12).

one thing im certain, once i change job, i really dont wanna do office job. ALTHOUGH i know it gives me a really reliable source of income. but i cant stand the boredom. i wanna work in the music industry ( if God wills me for it. ) and to be honest, i am thinking about discernment for religious. yes you heard me, to become a nun.

dont say that im being stupid, im not intending to be a nun just cause i havnt had a boyf for over 2 years. its just that....well, read the next post if you wanna know :)

journey in 2012 for the music ministry will be a tough one. we are looking into praise and worship. and i believe that i will be the lead for the beginning of this journey. i pray to God that he will constantly guide me and the whole ministry into this new year of fellowship, faith journey and family/friendship. may Bridging lights grow stronger and ever ready to accept obstacles you present to us Lord.

And we are led by those who help us most to grow, if we led them. And we help them in return. - For Good (Wicked Musical)

lastly, for this post... whilst reminiscing, i just really wanna thank our Lord for giving such a fruitful 2011. especially being able to journey with my fellow christian brothers and sister. from my church, from amplify, from my poly, from my secondary school, outside friends and lastly, my family relatives and members. photos on Facebook really stirs up nostalgia in my sentimental heart.

to each of you.
谢谢你, 你是天主给我的幸福.
认识你, 我的命变得好精彩.
有了你, 人身的选择从来不是一样.
你完成了上帝的计划, 我真的很感激你.

5566 - 我难过 Cover by estherarianna

2011-12-29T23:13:00.000+08:00

This is a short cover done in the panic of time. my dad wanted to watch his tv and mummy wanted to play her computer game. i had to rush through this. BUT nevertheless, i felt that this was a really good test. the mic is awesome! so clear and distinct.

gotta work on my diction and breathing! emotions not very well portrayed as well.

idk if i really wannabe a youtube star. but i do wanna sing for the world to hear :)
be it chinese or english. so, all the best to me! hehe.

running back to you

2011-12-29T17:17:00.001+08:00

its been merely 10 days after Awaken, and I feel as if i've drifted far away from God...yet to write my testimony though. have been going home really late the past many nights. out meeting friends and all.

God, I just wanna thank you for blessing me with showers of love from all those around me. I should have nothing to complain about. I really should. I'll continue to try to lead as a better example for my fellow-mates on Earth, especially those who look up to me.

and to all my family-friends, thank you for giving me such a wonderful 2011. filled with tears of joy & pain, all worth shedding for. let 2012 be another amazing journey for us all, alright?

ps; theres always sunshine after the rain.

Christmas 2011

2011-12-26T17:51:00.000+08:00

Christmas is a time to celebrate with your loved ones. And what is love?

Love is equal to suffering.
When you love someone, it entails dissappointments and heartaches.

God so loved the world, that he became-man(incarnate) to be just like one of us.
To be able to have flesh, flesh to be torn during the Passion of the Christ.
(Jesus is one true God and one true man at the same time. )

Jesus' death on the cross is God's suffering for us.
Why?
cause he loves us so much.

Just rmb, love = suffering.
Love those around you no matter how much it hurts, cause God loves you even more.

Hohoho, Merry Christmas ♥
________________________________________________________________

lemme summarise my 2011 christmas experience.

10th and 11th Dec:
carolling at several houses with my music ministry! tiring but awesome experience

17th to 20th Dec:
the awaken retreat tht brought me back home to God, to Jesus and to experience the gifts of the Holy Spirit.

weekdays before christmas:
meet g.darling for lunch & catchup
meet girlf dudette wenrong for her company movie dinner
meet girlfriends(gfs-marilou,yongting,rachel) for rachel's advance birthday & Christmas gift exchange

24th Dec:
meet gracephuawenshi for her church play
meet huishi vampire for catchup & hair extensions
meet julia to borrow pjs
went to church for Mid-night mass with Julia, Hilary, GabrielGoh and Diana
Christmas gift exchange with my peeps right after Mass (moses,jessica,hilary,julia.missing -beatrice, gilbert )
wenrong cabbed to fetch diana and me to boat quay, met peiguan, reagen, weixian, mingyang @ a pub

25th Dec:
family gift exchange
visited my kimpo's new house on level 40, mass at her house & look-see ignatius new house.
headed to aunty cat's house for another mass & $$ buffet. mingled w/ everyone. all cousins, aunt&uncles.
1st reading reader for both mass. & shared prayer intentions with roy! maybe we glowed from awaken!
rushed down to studio m hotel to meet cheryl, weiling, lynn, jason and new friends!

so now, im resting at home, trying out the condenser microphone cousin jean lent me <3

AWAKEN

2011-12-22T15:46:00.001+08:00

Awakened from my sleep. In Christ, i'm alive and i'm loved.

recent sat-tues was a really unforgettable experience for me. was at a retreat called Awaken. held in Hougang CSC. I think that my mindset has changed for the better. because i've actually encountered God's presence, through the Holy Spirit. there's so much i wanna share!

will write a testimony when i have a time to breath. now its nearing Christmas & gotta prep for celebrating his birthday. his as in Christs'.

however, 2 day out of the retreat, i found myself correcting a lot of my impure thoughts. like i didn't realize how much judgments i made about strangers...until after the retreat, i was constantly scolding myself for thinking sth untrue about others ( based on the way they dressed/behaved/looked/walk/talked/etc.etc. ), it was horrible. i felt like i was a really bad sinner. even though i already went through a DEATH BED confession. still, i feel horrible. needa go confession again, really soon.

i'm pretty sure that my vocation in life is not in the Office. cause its only day2 in this secluded office & i'm already experiencing signs of suppression. like i suppress my feelings, feelings of dissatisfaction, unhappiness and pain. no joy felt working here, other than the gift my boss bought for me. i truly wanna move to another job, into the vocation in life God calls me to.

music? teaching? religious?

grace.darling

2011-12-13T17:40:00.001+08:00

Finally met up with GraceChooShiEn..after what seemed like..a long time. 2 months? thats what she calculated. had to confess to her that i nearly forgotten what she looked like. HAHAHA... she's still the same, tall & skinny and :) still as sweet as ever, buying things for me. like its nearing Christmas and she already gotten me Presents & a card. *happy-ness*

didn't have time to get her gift yet. although got her something from malaysia. hope she liked it ! told her how the mini meetup with reag jewel & abang pigu went. she laughed and laughed. ( as usual, cause i exxxxxagerate everything. ) wonder if THE 2 BOYS would wanna meet her up?

TO YOU:
take care of yourself, don't keep allowing yourself to fall ill ... yah? fever never tell me. . . need go out in the sun, get VitaminE! ( i dont know if you would even be reading this?!. hehe)

nevertheless, subway lunch & thebodyshop shopping, an hour & half meetup flew & i do hope we meet up again darling! like after christmas, before chinesenewyear? HOHOHO~HappyLunarNewYear :D

Cover on Demi's SkyScraper

2011-12-06T10:48:00.001+08:00

very first combined cover with my NFF cherylchew!!!

realise at 2:30, that the camera decided to darken our face. special effects werent expect but liked :D
like dancing in the dark, but singing instead.

harmony was inspired after watching knbinharmony !!(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4N3KGeW9zQ)

hopeful to get more views, then we'd do more covers.
PLEASE SUPPORT!

------------------------------------------------------------------
my wishlist for 21st is to seriously invest in an awesome video cam.
sound quality & video quality is NOT good :(

i really enjoy singing & the recent ability to strum the guitar has made me REALLY passionate.
wonder how many other unknown stars-wannabe are in Singapore?

to all who are pursuing their dreams, be it music or dance or arts, just wanna encourage you to PUSH !
push till your last breathe, until you reach your goal. JIA YOU !

Lady Antebellum - Just a Kiss

2011-11-30T15:03:00.001+08:00

when this couple sings, they look into each other's eyes.
it seems like they've already unlocked the door, and are embracing each others' soul.

seeing the way they sing, i truly believe (and/ hope) that in future, i can find someone. someone who can connect with me, esp. when we sing duets, and loves me for who i am.

Convo. with B. in the past

2011-11-22T11:45:00.001+08:00

my B. sent this to me last time. found in as Draft in my Old Blog. dated 22nd July 2009.
decided to post it.

Dear Lord, thank you for giving us life and this opportunity to be your precious children. I pray that you help Esther to overcome this hurt, her loneliness. Help her to be closer to you and be her comforter. So many times you have been there for me, being that best friend. and i pray that you will do the same for her too.
I place myself in your care. You will save me, Lord; You are a faithful God

Psalms 31:5
Lord, i pray that you care for Esther, help her patch that emptiness inside of her and help her to overcome her sin of eating too much. Esther is broken and i pray that you heal her. step by step, i know you will allow her to rise about and move on. May you hold her hand and lead her, guide her. to teach her. remove her fear of uncertainty, and fill her with your Love
because your Love is so powerful and so great, and able to overcome anything. Dearest Lord, please be with her, watch over her and protect her. She is going through a tough period and she is afraid. afraid of what may happen in the future. i pray that you shed your light on her and show her the Way. Amen.

你值得男人珍惜,只还没遇到命中注定的那一个.

These words encouraged me alot. Thanks BrianaAng ♥.
i've grown stronger since 2 years ago, im sure. God has been ever so present in my Life.
im 3/4 way through the tough period. im much better, im healing, im journeying, im closer to God.

In Life

2011-11-03T12:23:00.002+08:00

this came up in my mind whilst making my journey to work yesterday...

Trust in the Lord - Jesus says to me. - TRUST.

Guardian Angel

2011-11-03T11:06:00.001+08:00

this song just appeared in my head as i was grumbling about some .... nothings.

i will never let you fall,

even if saving you sends me to heaven.

Please don't walk away , please tell me you'll stay...
use me as you will, pull my strings just for a thrill.

and i know i'll be ok, though my skies are turning grey.

Make-up

2011-10-25T13:50:00.002+08:00

in my poly years, i never wore makeup. and i felt pretty. its like, people will look at me and smile. me knowing that they like who i am and what i look like. even someone who was really closed to me told me NEVER to put on makeup, never ever cause i am naturally beautiful.

but ever since i graduated, i guess, life just changes? never once i wont put on make up. especially my heavily reliance on bbcream. covering up all my blemished, red spots and whatever not. and the worst part, i never felt pretty NOT wearing makeup any more. i only feel pretty when i wear make up. the thicker, the better.

this is how the Cosmetics Industry has brainwashed me, like many other girls.

worst still, one who was once slimmer by like 10kilograms, feels that the world revolves around pretty slim petite girls. credits goes to the effect beauty commercials have on us girls. the thinner the better. even Gaga commented on Adele not Working her ASS OFF as hard as Gaga. different target group Gaga...Adele's fans LISTEN. your fans WATCH. as plain as that.

its a tough world out there. and if i allow myself to be consumed by this horrendous world, i think i may end up falling into depression. cause i cannot meet the world's expectations. ( does the world even expect ANYTHING of me? or did i just make that up? well, idk. )

just saw on fb these 2 thai people.

ZEE -lady that is a really handsome guy.

POY-guy that is a really hot lady.

gotta admit, even i could fall for ZEE and im jealous of POY.

Forlorn Coincidence

2011-10-24T11:12:00.002+08:00

this was a poem i wrote whilst on a morning break from work. sounds odd right? having morning breaks. was just kinda light headed and needed a short rest. funny how the heart can feel so much emotions. its just a muscle with no sense of what goes on around the world...

future of my life

2011-10-23T23:21:00.002+08:00

ive always known myself to be quite a hopeless planner. nothing i plan comes to life and therefore, i like to take it as it comes. i've had expectations but after all the let downs, i decided that life should not be lived with expectations. and the outcome... this i cant be bothered attitude.

had a good reflection chat with moses just now. it was kinda short but kinda making me think about what do i really wanna do in life? what do i hope to see myself wearing in future? white? blue? black? ps;the different colours can represents different job scopes.eg white could be a doctor/nun. etc etc.

but anyways, thanks for try'na talk me out of it moses. :) as in the attitude... (if you are reading this,if not, hopefully some actions will show? well..yeah.) maybe, just maybe some things in life ARE worth planning or..preparing.

but i still stand on the fact that whatever you own in Life, when you die, you gotta give it back. so, no need to earn big bucks & fancy cars. just live life simple, do good work, and you are safe. no doubt in Singapore, one needs $$$$ to even lead a simple lifestyle. ugh. doesnt that suck.

the gentle angmoh-ish old Father share this prayer during the homily today "Lord, Our God, Make your Love the Foundation of our Live & may our Love for You find an expression in our Eagerness to go Good for Others."

hit & run incident

2011-10-18T09:38:00.000+08:00

i was doing my rounds and at the final lap, there it was,a dead Frog. it looked like it had dead for... not more than 4 hours ago? and did anyone stopped to pick the frog up and either dispose of it properly or sth.? NOPE. even i ran pass it and didnt give a care.

suddenly my thoughts were brought back to the news last night where the Little China Girl was run over twice by vehicles and 20 over people walked pass without taking notice. until the cleaner picked her up and ( not realising her injury) dragged her across the road.

i recall watching the news and going....SHIT! WHY DIDNT ANYONE STOP? THEY ARE UNCIVILISED!! i was mad angry. and the mother of the Little China Girl even pulled the seriously injured girl by the hand. if the Frog was a research done by animal lovers, i bet they would be knocking on my door and questioning WHY DIDNT I STOP. WHY AM I SO CRUEL?!......

i believe the person who was going to move the Frog, would most definitely also be the cleaner. i mean, who else was hired to do as such? right...? God, i hate humans's pride.

Moral Of Story.... do not judge others. what makes you think you would've done any better if you were placed in their shoes. just because you are educated ( in Singapore ), does not equal to you being any smarter or more humane than they are. i urge you, to pray for the little girl. that if she is suffering, let God take her away from this pain. instead of hating those who ignored. as you might just be that one.

outing places

2011-10-09T12:33:00.001+08:00

gna load a series of photos!

one photo each event :)

looking back, life hasnt been boring for me at all. these are merely a glimpse of how much fun i had. if you were at my outings, i bet you would've realised HOWMUCH nonsense i was going through and how these wonderful people brought smiles on my face. each one in this photo is special and each one at the events are special ( even if you arent in the photo but your heart is.)

INQUISITORS at the FINALS of the SHRI competition! it was the toughest time in POLY to juggle all the bloody projects and prepare for this competition. cousin Joey & parents came to support :) altho SP won us hands down, and i cried like shit, i think it was an experience not to be missed.

it was chinese new year @ Jason's house. i think it was chinese new year haha in 2010

BridgingLights church exchange to MELAKA!!! new friend met and views exchanged and new eye opener about the world. indeed a good experience for me.


at Marianne's Bro wedding wit my CA-CHENGS. roy's -_- face is...-.-

Kareoke Session with NP gals & 2 guys . we went CRAZY with the songs. i'll never forget this session. hahah pure madness.

ogawa's birthday @ Fish&Co glasshouse. jason and i almost did a one-song-gig for her sia~

ogawa leaving on a jetplane for UNI studies. we were all happy but sad...ya know what i mean?


at the Rainbow talk/conference thingy at STADA. my first working place as admin

mini trip to Batam with some NgeeAnn PEOPLES! had a simple fun experience. though it rained and rained and we couldnt ride those water sports we dyingly wanted to try out :(

EASTCOASTPARK. it was my sudden urge to wna rollerblade that brought us there :D

musicministry outing around cityarea! raining + korean mass was a nice combi for enders. music ministry has become an important part of my tiny life. is without them, idk what i'd do really....

amplifyconnectgroup's celebration for Marion's birthday! i've come to love these girls

korean SIKEII Buffet was YUMMILICIOUS. theme of te day was blue. haha not everyone came though

i travelled all the way to the other end of SG to eat udders, which can be found in westmall. but the variety there is more than i expected:D love the vanilla mars snickers flavour.

MBS stay with my gals( including you gabriel goh) follow'd by the awesome LIONKING MUSICAL :D i really had fun at the drop-down-swimming-pool

this was from LONG TIME AGO when i was still in POLY. wth i feel old. though only graduated like 6 months ago. thats my NFF cheryl. nff stands for NewFoundFriend. she gave this nick when we just met. haaahhahaha like a year ago?

my first and only( so far) experience with Dudette and her gals @ boiler. the entertainer was like freaking lame but bloody funny. her gals are cool, i would hang out with them again actually :) then supper after that :D

houseparty @ steve's. met a bunch of really cool babes and dudes. and also learnt NEVER to down one pure shot.

with bernice (jiejie) for a first gay-night experience. indeed, an experience :D

the game at small group sharing to break tha ice. isaac kena saboo-ed. it was hilarious.! after like 3/4 cycles with my SGS people, i felt like we were much more bonded and could share abit better as a group. i enjoy their company :D

here 's TingyysFoo's Birthday meetup! pastamania and bowling was a simple but fun combi to have had. pity tht chel was ill and wasnt able to make it...more gfs outings pls.

BBQ gathering for the HUMANRESOURCE majors! and we stayed over at the LOFT. my first time at the loft! i felt SUA-KU for only having stepped in AFTER i graduated...

GRADUATION CEREMONY! 3 years passed like......f.fast.

SENTOSA with dudette!!! we both took a friday off to do this. loved it much! tho barely tanned. BUT! i enjoyed hang'n out with her. we barely hung out in the day since.......ions ago.


homecoming queen party for weiling! she came back from australia for a hearty dinner and chilling at the bar thereafter. alls well, ends well :D ps, steve was drunk.

BAKING with Aliciazephyr @ her house :D our rainbow cupcakes tasted NICE and i wna bake with her again! we postpone this session like for the longest of times and finally when we did it. i cnt believe i missed out on so much.!

Marina Barrage kiteflying outing with the 瓜s ! thou like miserable 5 out of 12 came...we had fun. after which, dinner at Bugis, HTHT and Archade :D

Recent FeastDay and this was with my Chesca & Bernice! they like bomb our booth with cheatcodes. haha! TanChengBok and ArchBishopNicholasChia was at our church! how awesome does that sounds man~

At IKEA with cellgroup peeps after a hearty meatball and shrimp meal & swim! hungry..hilly and racho are my gals that make my life in BL that much more lovely.

we knew where we were heading to . my house. cus my heels broke and there were NAILS gutting out of them. haiyoyo. ter is his usual shy shy self but jeremy was like... haha alot of things to say that makes one cnt walk or retort. haha. bernice jiejie is as cute as a button.

lastly, my bosses diana & cecilia at the workplace. have been wokring for 6 months plus now. wonder what my next step in life is. further studies? change in career? discernment is on my task list BUT im not making efforts to check it.

Treasures In Heaven

2011-10-07T12:50:00.004+08:00

Humans are indeed greedy. Do some good work and expect something in return.

As a christian, we should be only expecting the treasures God has prepared for us in heaven. but...has anyone ever thought.. If one does a good thing, one gains and when one does a bad thing, one loses.?

so, we might not even have any treasures in the end?

Idk. only God does. but for me, I dont wanna have any treasure waiting for me in heaven. (that is IF I get there). I just wannabe able to meet God and ask him what was his original plan for me? what was my mission.

and as he would be explaining, I can deduce if I achieved it ..or not. and if i did, I wanna be able to ask him if I did a good job? if it was sufficient for him? and if I didn't...well, we gotta see his verdict.

my only hope is that he'll say yes, Esther, you did me proud. and hug me whilst assuring me for that. and dear friends, THAT is the 'treasure' imma work towards. Amen.

reading

2011-09-14T14:49:00.002+08:00

truth is, i never knew that post was refering to me. until just now as i was trying to look for signs. idk why you felt that way about me. i think if i were to explain myself, i would say im a blur idiot? but even tho you said those stuffs abt me. i stil wrote to you. cause i believe it was a misunderstanding. i hope you know that deep down inside of me, i miss you. i never treated you as a stepping stone for any reward in the end. i never thought of you as such.

scarely that post also not abt me. i paiseh.

but nevertheless, since i felt strongly tht its abt me. the prev post abt the person i miss. its you. such pity i make myself sound. i cnt get angry at anything. i cn only cry and complain. you of all people would have knew that im not those type of girl. im confused as to why u tot of me as such. maybe my face really got tht qian-da lor.

guess no words can i say can salvage this? i wished you were here. to see how i truly felt.

distracted much from work. hope you are still the smiley-bubbly-crazy-fun person i knew. tc.

ms ng.

editted* aussie cousin in Sg

2011-09-01T16:11:00.000+08:00

17th: stayed overnight at aunt cat's house with Evry1 else
( i.e. Nicholas, Roy, Sebastian, Claudia, Clara, Joey , me! )
Ninja assasin was gross! we slept at like 430am...teehee.
breakfast the next morning, of which we all almost could not wake up.

afterwhich we headed home.

then on Christmas, my family headed to Aunty Cat's house for dinner & Claud's adv-birthday celebration!

the pink one was wht i got for her !

she named it TigerPig :D

Evry1 stayed overnight again! this time, we srsly barely slept.

we even missed Mass...oh dear.

the next day we prepared ourselves for AuntyAgnes' wedding vows :)

see shannon & me :p haha

that night was AWESOME!

met them all @ OC.

finding a stall thats open for supper :)joey looks lika MONKEY at tha back haha!

this is the FISH HOTHOT thingy

we went to find them playing pool @ Katong.

Another time we stayovernight

AND, we went to eat some icecream

@ icecream chef !

(Y) yummy!

and the next day, we headed to USS!

Add caption

high influx of foreign talent

gay max!

marilyn monroe wannabe! haha

in preparation for a FRANKENSTIEN show ~

here's our 41 pkts of Ketchup! crazy ppl who loves this sauce.

All geared up and ready for SPLASHING!

GREEN specs for Green SHREK!

Baggage girl~

my new wallet( now old)

it was awesome :D

headed vis $60-6seater cab to Katong for Peranakan DinnerXP

isnt Roy just excited? haha

that night we headed to ECP

to buy lightsticks

i tell you, it was really fun and all. dancing in the moonlight! haha :p

Clauds are really afraid of smthg slimy~

hahahaha this was a HUGE snail.

i only wished that Clauds could stay longer. this was tha last time i met her for now until .....goodness idk when.

made her smthg small n bought Henna for her as well.

she liked it :D whoohoo!

i wanna go Aust to find her, i wished i wil have enough money.

there wer more photos but havnt gotten them from JOE with a Y.

想你.

2011-08-31T15:46:00.005+08:00

when was the last time we talked?

when was the last time we met?

when was the last time we were side-by-side doing nothing?

when. . .yesterday? :'(

i not sure what i did to deserve this . but whatever it was, knw that. . .im sorry.

I'm sorry for not being the most fun to hang out with. for not being pretty enough. for not caring all the time. for making empty promises. for being naive. for expecting. for trying too hard. for hurting you. for not being smart enough. for not being able to meet you. for not contacting you. I'm sorry for saying sorry. And most of all, im sorry for letting you down.

ps. idk what i did that let you down. but im sincerely sry.

Just know that whatever happened between us, the memories we had, the tears we shed and the laughter we shared, is a treasure in my life. i'll keep the treasure close to my heart, even as i walk alone on this earth. if ever comes a day where you hav no one you can talk to, i'll always welcome you with open arms, to be your listening ear, to be your shoulder to cry on, to be your companion.

I never wanted to judge or be judged, i just wanted to love and be loved. But if i cnt be loved, least, let me tell you that i love you.

You were my elder sibling, advicing me. my younger sibling, fun was the name of the game. my bestie, doing nonsense together, my everything when we were together. Thou we are apart at this moment of time, i miss you. You need not miss me nor like me or even wna see me. But i'll pray for you cus when i recall the times we had, a teardrop is shed. U may forget me, but i never will.

Takecare always.

With love, someone who never meant to hurt or upset you.

ps; im hurt, i am. but i doubt you'll ever understand. . .

if you're wondering if im referring to you, definitely.

to whom it may concern : you(s)

如你想我,約好我再見. . .

gna MIA

2011-05-08T18:25:00.000+08:00

hey readers ( if i happen to still have any )... imma head to mytumblr for the timebeing. its kinda a better source of entertainment for me right now. so if ya wna checkout how much nonsense i've been dealing with. go there.

chao!

expectations

2011-05-04T17:00:00.000+08:00

ever been too tired of meeting expectations? just want to wind down and be yourself in your own cooped up world, without worries and cares. thats kinda the feeling i have now. truth is that, i have my own expectations to meet. and i cannot even find time to meet them, how much more time would i be able to find to meet yours? oh God, idk what is it you want of me. "what do you want of me Lord, where do you want me to serve you? where can i sing your praises. i am your song"

My own wish : to become a famous singer - like those singers
God's most possible wish for me : to sing for him in church

My own dream : be a teacher ( altho i have no NIE teaching cert)
God's most possible dream for me : teach other youths the experiences i have gone through, share with them to comfort and advise them

My own expectation : i wna be an airsteward. to serve in the air
God's most possible expectation of me : to be a servant leader, i.e. to serve in church ministry as i am doing so now.

the SIA interview clashes with the sentosa outing. both holds some equal importance to me. what did i do wrong? why do people see right through me and judge me...saying i should know which to go to. but air steward has been my childhood dream. tho i have had people dash my dreams by saying stuff like ' shes so fat, how to become one ' and such. "nice" people i met btw.

i set my mind that maybe its just not time for me to go for the SIA interview. but its so much like joining clubs and competitions, they are once in a lifetime chances. once its gone, its GONE forever. what if i never become slim enough to pluck up the confidence to say that YES, now its time to go for the interview? and when im over the wanted "age", will i regret forever?

but at the same time, i really enjoy serving ministry. no doubt there is alotta hardwork, time taken up, sacrifices to be made and planning yadayadayada. but the people core-team i work with is so awesome. i wouldnt wna leave them in the lurch. and not to forget all the youths i hang out with during church events..and the young at heart. they are a bunch of people i am so grateful to have met.

coming back to expectations...guess i must put aside my own and concentrate on the one that God has planned for me. no matter how tough its gonnabe? btw, im not Holy or what. i just really believe in Him and i want Him to drive the steering wheel of my life. since i have no guts to drive the real steering wheel of a car.

JVS

2011-05-02T12:52:00.000+08:00

recently, headed over to a friend's house which faced my secondary school -> JurongvilleSecondary

by the looks of it, it shld complete in.....not too long frm now? haha. but looking at it, i can only say how much i would miss the old jurongville. memories~

bb

2011-04-26T22:37:00.001+08:00

imma have a new baby tomorrow! *excites* only tingyys know what im talking about teehee~~!

birthday. . .

2011-04-23T13:59:00.003+08:00

got a few cakes, one shared, one withoutcandle, one made of yoghurt, one i had to buy myself. havent blown a birthday candle of my own bday cake so far and its alr 23rdApr. i hope that anything on my 21stBday would be better than this.

Pre-20 celebrations x2

2011-04-21T01:20:00.005+08:00

Part 1 - Music Ministry - Psalms 100.2 FM

these were the Special people who celebrated the April Birthdays together with ME!
it was the FUN , Crazy time spent with them ♥♥
( thou its in the midst of Lent, aiyah it wil happen always in the midst of Lent)

my girls<3 ! missing a few tho.

the LONG awaited Food, we were fasting you see...it was time to break-fast!

BaoBei

Bea dear

Sarpino's Butcher - tha best!

Sarpino's Aloha

Sarpino's BBQ Chicken

Sarpino's Pepperoni

aftermuch FOOD , the "surprised secret leaked out" cake :D it was HUGE

April Babies, Adrian Included actually :D

whoohoo my fave!

HEARTS the handmade cards Welfare Team was Awesome!
psst, adrians card stil wit me~

Part 2 - the surprise - with NP loves

i entered Frolick expecting nth ( cus i thot they had forgotten) but got
THIS ! simple & sweet~

love tha swing. did you girls know my fave childhood thing was the swing? :D

est said my wish VEH long sia. hahah

unglam image of attempt to blow candle hahah

esther x 2 :)

sweetest smiles of the day, Jia n Ean :D

frolick babe, Ale. she was working @ BukitBatok outlet you see.

simple surprise which really made me surprise.
but they said the plan was like ready in barely half an hour hahahah.

after that was PastaMania & Neos!
WM has the Cheapest Booth but Lousiest as well. had to edit this at home myself.

my personal fave pic. ests' as well :D

it was a short time hanging with them but it was well spent with Laughter n Jokes n updates bout life.
♥♥

Part 3 - my thoughts

Gosh, me cannot reallaye believe that im like 20. i have hit the Big 2 finallaye. thought people say i already look like-a 20 plus lady. i used to tell them i look 'more matured' than my age. gone are the days i can say that! wow. i stil dont feel 20. guess i will say the exact same thing when i reach 30???
THANKS MUCH to those few who wished me....namely

musicministry - momo gilb jes bea gaby gablim [at the party]
darenlaw(np-marineNoffshore.) [byaccident]
huiying(vball) [1 day b4]
np loves - ale jia est [at frolicks]
grace.angel.darling [via @t & sms]
inkbro (cuzzie) [via sms]
junxiang chua [via @f]
nff cherylalaland [via sms]
gfs - tingy [via sms]
alex(amplify) [via @f]
julia darling (bridginglights) [via @f]
gloria(np) [via @f]
zhenmin(np) [via @f]
dotty(cya) [via @f]
as of 1:20AM
gracephua - sec1 classmate [via sms]
gfs - chel [via sms]
sportybabe rachotan [via sms]
ange (bridgingLights) [via @f]
Shan-E p5 classmate [via @f]
Wenqi Zhong-Gua NP HR classmate [via @f]
maggy (SFA) - [via @f]
dearie litoo [via sms]
halizah hamdam - p5 classmate [via sms]
jonah (bridgingLights) [via @f]
ms howeiyee - NP yr3 HR IEMP teacher [via sms]
rachel lee - EthicalDilemma classmate [via @f]
as of 2:10PM
nff ( on fb & sms - wishing me pink health :D and lotsa love :)
russel the nonstop active kid which makes everyonelaugh
gina ng wei jin who was my pri sch classmate
gfs loulou who loves me too
estherchong ( teehee - anthr esther in ministry - wished me health & to achieve wht i wna do tis yr. sounds so awesome when i read it)
hillybabe - my lovely dear who wants me to con't walking with Jesus and rely on him for strength
beatrice - who gave me charms for my bday! :D she called me esther-ristible ( esther - irristable hahah!)
pel (who i miss ) wished me last ( wanted to wish me last) and meet up
shuyi - via tweet - :D
jason alfaro ducusin - hvnt seen in long time @ ministry
the abv mostly were smses.
have a few fb but cnt recall...toolongago. haha ( btw i updated this on 8/5/11 - MOTHER's DAY!)

haha. anyways, im most touched by those who rmb my bday without @f or @t or msn reminder. cus myself can remember special people's bdays only. special in my heart. and i feel special in their hearts ♥

im so tired.

2011-04-12T21:50:00.000+08:00

im so tired.

have been so into Church work and workwork lately. so much that every monday(for the past 3 mondays) i can fall asleep at 8pm. waking up at 8am the next morning..feeling....nonetheless, tired. haish. no doubt i find personal satisfaction in completing alotta my workwork and i really enjoy doing church work, idk how i can cope with this for a pro-longer period of time.

psst; i miss having some peeps in my life. but as the saying goes...friends COME AND GO.

have been meeting up with a few peeps lately tho :D they come to entertain me during lunchbreak! whoohoo. grace, wenrong and liting. thanks a bunch my darling, my dudette and my dearie ♥ if not for u 3, my lunches would've been cold, lonely and oh so sad.

PARTAYE

2011-03-29T20:25:00.001+08:00

lil bro intro-ed me this song.

BAGS!

2011-03-19T00:26:00.001+08:00

ever since i started work in an office environment, i've been observing tha bags ladies carry. it brings me to the time where Gloria & I were at Bugis Street. like last year, just before HK and GZ trip. a bag tht looked like this caught my eye:

it had a longer breadth than height tho. din get it cus it costs like over 40
thts when i went to gmarket!
some rlly nice bags :

this one abv is superr prettaye, love ths colour, design, everything! (in my opinion that is.)
but THIS SHOP doesnt hv stock :(

and this has the same colour code as the first one which i laid my eyes on.
i like the metal bar thingy in the center :D
like one of katespade's wallets or sth.
but...also no stock! haish.

guess i should go save up and head over to Bugis for tht bag?
not even sure if they carry the stock any moreeeee.

FAT still.

2011-03-16T21:12:00.001+08:00

m gonnabe 20 in a months . crap, wht have i done which is fulfilling?

nth much i cn recall.

recently, stay'n over at nic's place.

aunt n uncle keeps call'n me FAT.

i'd rlly wna lose those kilos BUT its nt easy.

haish.

wud i be able to shed those nonsense in 6 months? haish.

i wannabe .........like that:

or mayb the centre would do :D

*Pictures Credit to GOOGLE!*

When God Ran

2011-03-12T22:51:00.000+08:00

by Phillip Craig and Dean

introduced by YuJiaOng

sit and pretend

2011-03-10T20:21:00.000+08:00

am STILL at the office. awaitng for my aunty cat to return to her desk and fetch me bk to her place. BUT guess what. she is nowhere to be found. tried calling her several times but NO ANSWER. srsly. I dead tired. why does she have to do this to me. make me dissapointed the 3rd time this week. i have no plans whatsoeva but she has a gazillion plans which i have to accomodate to, even LAST MINUTE stuff which she never tells you even a fraction of a second beforehand. she only explains the reasons like EONS later. haish. so here i am, try'na 'spend' time doing some productive work when my brain is so TIRED of doing the same thing since morning. efficient? NO WAY. not after working since 830am. 12 hours at this office. GOSH.........im ranting cus she's my aunt! and i tot she would put me in some priority but i guess working ladies are forever too busy for something else.

GAGA - born this way

2011-02-28T23:11:00.001+08:00

TOMNTOMS

2011-02-28T22:57:00.000+08:00

at Tanjong Pagar, there is a nice quite place in the midst of the bustling town of working people. its called Tom&Toms. from KOREA, they offer nice drinks & food. imagine Starbucks/ Coffeebean Korean style...

our first 2 cups :D

after 3 hours of studying, time for CHEAP DEALS!

hungry like MAD hurr? hahah

SWEEEET & NICE TOASTS! :D

and i saw CHEN DI YA of SUPERSTAR!!

bored n tired people had to go shopping :p
to PLAZA SING we went !

$7 for 6 earrings ( we swapped haha! )

i fell in love with this bag when i eyes fell on it! but its like $40 over. sick!

cudnt afford, so bought the RIBBON on my hair to compensate. that was likee on 20% discount at MINIBITS.

EARRINGS!

more of EARINGS!

home sweet home :D
had a mini blast din we NFF? see ya toms!

IKEA dinner after HRMS

2011-02-28T22:40:00.000+08:00

it was after paper and i srsly wante to eat meatballs from IKEA! had a wonderful scrumptious meal there with cheryl nff, lynn babe and clara cuzzie :D nff bought like 12 chicken wings and flew back home to send to her family members. hahahha~ rest of us went SHOPPANG~

nice shelter clara~ hehe

thinking hard on a SPIDER? lynn uh :P

was happy i was at IKEA, hvnt been there for the LONGEST of TIMES.

pillow ''fight'' HHAHA

the cupboard i wana buy when i grow up

love tha sunflower babe

nice coloured flower right? lynn spotted it

we bought our hangers :D $9 only

NICE VODKA BOTTLES frm SWEDEN

after which, clara headed home after purchasing some SMOKED SALMON. lynn & i headed to AnchorPoint :D i had some great deals there~ people, go to ANCHORPOINT for cheaper deals, cus they're all OUTLETS! twinny brought me there de if i din remember wrongly. :)

ZOUK for the very first time

2011-02-28T22:14:00.000+08:00

was awesomely lucky to meet DesignerDrugs for the very first time @ Zouk :D

clara was TOOO hungry!

nice shave J

idk wht you're doing mate!~

EPIC

tilt head left :D

(Y) nice place to go. whoohoo

my guitar pick that GLOWS :D

i think overall J had a good time as well! he met his aussie friends' friend! hahah cool or what?

@my house on CNY 初四

2011-02-28T01:27:00.001+08:00

NICE SIMPLE F'MLY REUNION,

DAD's side :)

Valentines DAY!

2011-02-28T01:03:00.000+08:00

i srsly would've thought that in 2011, being single, i wouldnt celeb vday. i tot i wud be like ALONE at home or smthg. lucky i had SHRI competition. haha. gave all of us a reason to head to school and dearest NFF make heart shaped cakes for us ! :D

vivo was our shopping arena that day. met up with cuzzies after that :D it was dinner + movie + macs supper + late night taxi surcharge. hahaa. spend quite a bit but was all well enjoyed.

CHARGER SOLVED!!

2011-02-28T00:43:00.000+08:00

remember how my laptop charger died on me? my lovely NFF and cousin J accompanied me to get it fixed @ FUNAN IT MALL 2 fridays ago after sch :)

had a LATE lunch thingy and we ran in the rain to go to SIM LIM ! and when we left. i was soaking wet frm head to toe. i only protected my fringe hahahah~ for a girl with bangs, fringe is most important.

headed to meet momowings for Amplify afterwhich :) i was late. SORRY MOMO!

perv!

2011-02-27T21:32:00.010+08:00

THIS is a ...........

PPERVERT: zhihui_rockz@hotmail.com

i barely talked to him online for a few sentences and cud feel the ulterior-motive already. he said he knew me frm some fren- oscar weiquan. when he said these two words "u sexy" i directly told him to fo . He even had the cheek to reply "fuck off?" My immediate action? ==} BLOCK & DELETE!

After which i went to Google the email and saw [ this post! ] *the words in blue*
this perv has been doing this since MARCH last year. like wtf.

sick to know that these kinda pervs still exists. this is his some MSN profile~

by Ashton Kutcher

2011-02-21T16:41:00.004+08:00

johngeremy:

I was shooting a scene in my new film, No Strings Attached, in which I say to Natalie Portman,

“If you miss me, you can’t text, you can’t email, you can’t post it on my Facebook wall. If you really miss me, you come and see me.”

I began to think of all of the billions of intimate exchanges sent daily via fingers and screens, bouncing between satellites and servers. With all this texting, emailing, and social networking, I started wondering, are we all becoming so in touch with one another that we are in danger of losing touch?

It used to be that boy met girl and they exchanged phone numbers. Anticipation built. They imagined the entire relationship before a call ever happened. The phone rang. Hearts pounded. “Hello?” Followed by a conversation that lasted two hours, but felt like two minutes and would be examined with friends for two weeks. If all went well, a date was arranged. That was then.

Now we exchange numbers, but text instead of call because it mitigates the risks of early failure and eliminates those deafening moments of silence. Now anticipation builds. Bdoop. “It was NICE meeting u.” Both sides overanalyze every word. We talk to a friend, an impromptu Cyrano: “He wrote nice in all caps. What does that mean? What do I write back?” Then we write a response and delete it 10 times before sending a message that will appear to care, but not too much. If all goes well, a date will be arranged.
Whether you like it or not, the digital age has produced a new format for modern romance, and natural selection may be favoring the quick-thumbed quip peddler over the confident, ice-breaking alpha male. Or maybe we are hiding behind the cloak of digital text and spell-check to present superior versions of ourselves while using these less intimate forms of communication to accelerate the courting process. So what’s it really good for?

There is some argument about who actually invented text messaging, but I think it’s safe to say it was a man. Multiple studies have shown that the average man uses about half as many words per day as women, thus text messaging. It eliminates hellos and goodbyes and cuts right to the chase. Now, if that’s not male behavior, I don’t know what is. It’s also great for passing notes. There is something fun about sharing secrets with your date while in the company of others. Think of texting as a modern whisper in your lover’s car.
Sending sweet nothings on Twitter or Facebook is also fun. In some ways, it’s no different than sending flowers to the office: you are declaring your love for everyone to see. Who doesn’t like to be publicly adored? Just remember that what you post is out there and there’s some stuff you can’t un-see. But the reality is that we communicate with every part of our being, and there are times when we must use it all. When someone needs us, he or she needs all of us. There’s no text that can replace a loving touch when someone we love is hurting.

We haven’t lost romance in the digital age, but we may be neglecting it. In doing so, antiquated art forms are taking on new importance. The power of a hand-written letter is greater than ever. It’s personal, deliberate, and means more than an email or text ever will. It has a unique scent. It requires deciphering. But, most importantly, it’s flawed. There are errors in handwriting, punctuation, grammar, and spelling that show our vulnerability. And vulnerability is the essence of romance. It’s the art of being uncalculated, the willingness to look foolish, the courage to say,
“This is me, and I’m interested in you enough to show you my flaws with the hope that you may embrace me for all that I am but, more importantly, all that I am not.”
— Ashton Kutcher
(via theoriginalest)

温岚 - 傻瓜

2011-02-21T15:25:00.002+08:00

Zouk - Designer Drugs nite!

2011-02-21T12:30:00.003+08:00

headed to dance the night away with birthdaygirl, pufferfish and eye-ass.

this was one of the most loved song!

the night was good, DesignerDrugs = cool :)

barely slept and headed to church.

like simon said, im kinda ironic.

at night - dong i dong zi

nxt day - alleluia.

people, im not that kinda fake shit. im just, having fun. haha~

and i likie this song

(Y)!

"No one comes to the Father except through me" John 14:6

2011-02-18T13:16:00.003+08:00

"Jesus answered, 'I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.' (John 14:6)

This verse is one of the most misunderstood and misused verses in the bible.

When read wrong it implies that non-Christians have no contact, understanding or relationship with God. This interpretation is false and hurtful as everyone on earth knows God as God constantly speaks to everyone on earth in their heart. Many of the non-Christian world obey this inner voice and follow the Lord by loving their fellow man.

Non-Christians however when they love and obey God in their heart are missing something that Christian believers have. Christian believers have God, not only as a voice in their heart (as non-Christians do), to be obeyed, but they also have God in the physical world. Jesus is God come into the physical world. He is the love to be loved and the love to be served in the physical realm.

Thus the Christian when he or she serves God serves Jesus in everyone they meet. The Christian meets Jesus literally in every human being, the good and the bad.

Thus when Jesus is talking about nobody comeing to the Father but by Him, He is not saying that people of other faiths do not come to God in their hearts. He is saying that without Him mankind cannot meet and serve Him in the physical realm by seeing Him in others.

As Christians we are so blessed to be able to meet and serve our living saviour in every human being on earth. This is the way we come to the Father by meeting the Son in everyone. Jesus is literally in everyone, the good and the bad and as Christians we can serve Him there.

Chritianity is thus a gift to people of all faiths that love God as in Christianity they can serve their God (Love) in the physical dimension.

This is what this verse is about.

(source)

JoeyChan & G.darling Birthday!

2011-02-13T22:47:00.000+08:00

happy birthdy darling :D simple meal & chat & fringecut :)

hb Josie~! hope u had a nice 20th bday in Sg :)

why i like beiber

2011-02-12T01:42:00.001+08:00

Aunty Agnes Wedding

2011-02-08T01:30:00.001+08:00

Wedding held @ Raffles Town Club's Ballroom!

on 6th Feb 2011

preeeettaye chio place. more photos. all in Clauds' camera though.

waiting to grab them :D hehe. heres a few anyways.


It was a last minute attendance at this wedding n im awfully HAPPY that we were invited. To the married couple, we really wish you two the HAPPIEST marriage!

family barely took any photos. except for this one. which i will treasure much

there's just 1 person missing. CLAUDS. wished she was here.!

all in all. i loved the time spent there. i love the people, love the atmosphere, love the dressing up, love the environment, love the LOVE thats in the air. LOVE all! hahah. and i love my dress! who cares if im not SLIM enough. teehee~

ATTICA

2011-02-05T15:01:00.001+08:00

We made plans to go Club last night!

Clara & me. the first of many experiences ♥

姐姐Yuki & 哥哥Mark !
super nice (Y)

called Cherylalala to tag along. she was enthusiastic TTM!


a few cups of Vodka, and Whisky. there were freaking so many HOT babes and hunks @ Attica!

Just dance.
it was awesome boy~

imma head there again.
very certain.

Cheryl ran home halfway. the rest of us 6, headed for Supper @ Macs.
There were so many stories to share about the experience there.
it was MADNESS.!

some old angmoh gave a flying kiss to clara! eww.

joey n nick followin those podium dancers moves, hilarious!

哥哥 said 姐姐 's face was so fierce when people came near us, even he was scared!
nick's tecktonik moves having to shrink cussa the space contrains

joey helping us get rid of drunk guys who were pushing us around~

some average joe waiting for me to dance with him?! that was seemingly odd cus i cnt rmb.
alotta couples MAKING OUT! it was like....smooching night or something~!

some hottie try'na hit on clara, but he was so freaking full of himself! yuck

and a few more which isnt crazy enough to mention. it was MADNESSx123456789 but WE ♥ it TTM.

Princess: A Modern Fairytale Movie

2011-02-04T18:11:00.001+08:00

the movie was smthg new but nice:)the song is AWESOME.!

TITLE: Roots before Branches by Room for Two

Lyrics | Room For Two lyrics - Roots Before Branches lyrics

CNY 2011

2011-02-04T17:51:00.001+08:00

the usual Steamboat at our house! family dinner is always loved.

headed to Chinatown to see FIREWORKS and all. it was awesome! :D

Kimpo's house and then AuntyCat's house.

郭靜-我不想忘記你

2011-02-04T15:27:00.001+08:00

Claire sang this song in some NewYear concert @ Taiwan.
so NICE (Y) !

NICE NEW SONG! - PriceTag

2011-02-03T12:15:00.000+08:00

click to view video :D

emotions rising

2011-02-03T02:45:00.002+08:00

Me "i'd go back in time and change it. but i cant."
&
God says "you are perfect to me."

家庭 lunch @ HANS

2011-02-02T02:28:00.001+08:00

my family loves HANS! for no apparent reasons, we will travel to Chevron's HANS to eat lunch. ♥ ♥ ♥

PFM in Dec 2010

2011-02-02T02:22:00.004+08:00

as one can see from the above, i am really enjoying myself as a part of Psalms 100.2 FM. no doubt there is hardwork, pain, sweat, tears n sacrifices. but it is all worth while :)

LIFE as an NP student

2011-02-02T02:16:00.003+08:00

time flies, not sparks. haha!

hv had so many events that took place tht im toooooo unable to explain in words. if i tried, it'll be a trillion word essay...so here are some photos.

there's more in WeiLing's camera but got no clue if she'll eva hav tha time to upload ALL the long ago dated pics~ haha.

MOVIEEE

2011-01-27T22:24:00.004+08:00

BURLESQUE

a movie that i must catch:

my favourite childhood singer:
Christina Aguilera!

and the legendary Cher!!

i think that most shows that have singing in, imma sure to LOVE IT.
aweesome max for certain.

Recording -TaylorSwit

2011-01-26T13:58:00.002+08:00

was tired but needed to play tha guitar!
so played this song & wanted to record FOR FUN :D
its soft, so pardon me and listen via earpiece if ya'wna.

Unappreciated

2011-01-25T09:49:00.004+08:00

After the 2 workshops that we have conducted...I feel....

at the obse workshop, i places myself as the informal leader. i wasnt even in-charge of HRA but as I was the only one who had previously conducted the workshop THREE times, i had to lead them. but, no one gave a damn that i put in my utmost effort to guide them. no one. not until cheryl felt i was seemingly odd & quiet. then i told her how i was feeling. she kinda gave me a pat on the back verbally.

and yesterday, i really felt like i placed the MOST amount of effort in my life for the WHOLE hours. i know everyone did their best, esp Jason. but i was beside him, helping he see through the flow of the programme. i din criticise the programme but i gave alotta suggestions & talked to the teachers & ensured everyone was on the same track & provided consturctive feedback to members & i ended up unable to be beside my group. but no one saw / rmb / knew what i did.

this feels like another voluntary work @ Church. maybe all i should worry about is that God knows. maybe it shouldnt matter if any human ever sees the sweat and tears (literally) that I put in... BUT what if this continues in working life? am i to not ever to be recognised?

but another part of me is like..................if i was placed the leader, i would've been even more stressed than Jason that nothing will workout. i know this is a habit of mine. when im not the leader then i will take up responsibilities much easier. as i do not feel stressed. but when i m placed under stresssed, i crack. i know i crack under pressure, simon said that to me. shit, i hate myself.

Pink- F**kin' Perfect

2011-01-23T02:17:00.003+08:00

pretty please, don't you ever feel that you are less than perfect.
just heard this song by accident before sleeping. mayb God was try'na tell me that. as i was sharing that with Julia abt wht Moses said abt me nt being matures/pretty yet.

note to self: FO

2011-01-20T01:04:00.004+08:00

i try. but ppl just fking hate me. wtf cn i do?
nth.
u so good at everthing, u do it luh.
fk. nt everyone is as CAPABLE as you man.
BANG YOUR OWN HEAD AGAINST THE WALL BITCH(me)
dnt worry, i dnt hate u. i loathe me.
WWARRNINGG: when i am stressed up, i wil say things tht wil make u pissed.
well, same applies to you.

conversations

2011-01-18T23:36:00.004+08:00

recently, i hv been in deep conversations with quite a few people.
i realised a few things about myself, frm wht ppl feel&see about me.

i think too much, read too much into the lines
my time management sucks
i have good intentions but always end up getting myself into trouble
the way i convey my messages to people, always give people wrong impressions/ideas

and the last one kinda affected me.alot.
if i m not so lazy, maybe i will be pretty
(cus someone once told a close friend that IF ESTHER LOST WEIGHT, SHE CAN BE VERY PRETTY. at tht time, i already lost 12kg to be at 58kg. but it just wasnt enough. it never wil be.)

srsly. am i not pretty enough?

Reminescense

2011-01-18T00:37:00.005+08:00

See this picture? i think its amazing how we all got from THERE . . . to where we stand now. its been a rather winding journey but with God, I stand stronger than before.

Please never leave me, I'm stronger but inside, the girl in me is still weak. and these days, i feel as if . . . people just HATE me alot. idk why. pls lmk.
desperation calls for drastic measure.

fujitsu charger dies.

2011-01-13T22:07:00.005+08:00

shit. laptop adapter is not working. my computer has a battery life of. 30 minutes left. SHIT! how am i going to use it to do projs over the weekend?!?!

bk to Dec- TS

2011-01-13T22:07:00.001+08:00

wna cover this.
-with tingys
-with alethia
-with anyone!

NEAR to you

2011-01-12T22:47:00.003+08:00

I'm battle scarred, I am working oh so hard
To get back to who I used to be

chel & abang birthdays!

2011-01-12T22:18:00.004+08:00

so here goes 2 birthdays that has passed but i stil wna blog about it.

(1) Rachel Ong Li Xue!

it was a simple bday session,
do hope she liked it :)

(2)Abang Lim Pigu
unfortunately, grace and i were unable to share it with him.
but we made smthg rlly pretty n unique for him!

&&&& i ~~believe~~ know that he liked the card :D

gracie.darling bought me this....
awwws! ♥

this 2011, hope to be able to celebrate more people's birthdays. esp church mates. :)

Christmas!

2011-01-12T22:14:00.002+08:00

haha, i know this is LATE but...

here is a few eve, christmas & countdown pics!

Caroling @ SFA,
followed by countdown at Joachim's house :)

Christmas with Mummy, God-ma, Shannon and MEE!

also had a good christmas time with family &friends.
time flies, it really does.
embrace the moment.

projects @ NP

2011-01-12T22:03:00.005+08:00

so here is us in FORMAL attire~
major presentation is finally over! happy we are!

after much discussion about our project teams performances,
we are going craazzzzyy!

i love this semester.
i am allowed to be who i can become :D

WISP

2011-01-10T11:36:00.002+08:00

My proj group has successfully completed our presentation on FRANCE :D

im utterly happy tht we cn now conc. on other proj but wil miss this grp much~!

fcuking unfair world

2011-01-08T23:30:00.003+08:00

when my lil bro does rlly stupid things as my mum is asking him to do things, she laughs.
when i merely play the guitar as the WHOLE f'mly is talking, i bloody hell get scolded. wtfishheadpigtaildogcatrabbitchicken!.

shldn't hv came home tonight. srsly. frickshit.

mailed!

2011-01-04T19:07:00.002+08:00

g.darling & me hv prepared smthg for myAbang(herP.Daddy)

its gna take a few days before he receives it! meantime, he's in the army so cnt read my blog anyway~ hehe!. hope he likes it :D

shoppang

2011-01-02T22:32:00.005+08:00

its the 2nd day of January and I spent alot of my time with f'mly :)
shopping for my newyearclothes, finding presents as I know I'm gonnabe rlly darn busy when sch term starts, wrapping presents and preparing gifts(super in advance preparation).

haha dumb face right?
same for my hair (Y)
well, i felt like doing something stoooopid with snoooooopy. hehe ♥

sch's gna start tmr...after the short almost NOT THERE 3 week holidays which were filled with sch projects. although i need more rest time. i feel the urge to complete my polytechnic studies. to all who are doing their final poly year, 加油 ! we're reaching the end !

Bible Verse from AndrewTay-
Hebrews 12:1-3 ;
It means we should only place god as our ultimate goal.
Anything that may distract us or slow us down, should be ignored and discarded.

Hpy Nw Yr!

2011-01-02T00:48:00.007+08:00

hey everyone, its like 2011. time doesnt fly, it spins so quickly that if you dont grasp it tight enough, it'll just slip away from your hands.

anyway, i went for ThanksGivingMass in 2010 for the first time in my 19 years. how awesome is that?

some other activities that took place in 2010 which i havent uploaded.

(1) AYD

(2) ogawa's house!

(3) more church activities

so in the year 2011. i aim to lead a happier life.

not tht 2010 wasnt happy. just that, there could have been even better times i guess.
mainly, i think that if i can successfully lose weight, i'd definitely be happier already.

but i wanna do more meaningful things in Life,
like help others who need my assistance.
and to those people who cared much for me in 2010,
just wanner say...
Thanks and I ♥ YOU!

video

2011-01-01T22:38:00.004+08:00

click here, scroll down to see a video gfs took in the pastt.

i think its ancient :D

MerryChristmasDarling

2010-12-30T21:32:00.001+08:00

nice song frm gLee.

MCD by Lea Michelle.

she sings awesome, i wannabe like her, i wanna sing like her; cus i felt like her.
merry christmas, and a happy new year people.

macaooons

2010-12-28T20:37:00.000+08:00

only tried macaroons twice. and i dont think the 2nd one taste niceeee. i want NICE cripsy one! this one which i bought at school was soft until like .... eek.

until ms ho bought some macaroons for us during our IP project ♥

macaroons are loved!

chio winter wear

2010-12-28T18:46:00.000+08:00

i like this top dress thingy.
if i everget the chance to go overseas, i SURE buy this to wear~

jjlin-truth

daisy earrings

2010-12-24T16:26:00.003+08:00

when at the GuangZhou;HongKong trip,
Ms Soh was wearing a pair of daisy♥earrings
her husband bought for her.

and since then,
its been a hard struggle finding the similar pair.
until stumbling upon Gmarket :D

jer 29:11

2010-12-24T14:43:00.001+08:00

my fav bible verse. (from BrianaAng.)

just a dream cover

2010-12-23T13:36:00.004+08:00

current addiction:

love the song!

having a tough time learnin the chords though.

communication is key

2010-12-22T23:46:00.002+08:00

have you ever had communication breakdown? In an instance where everyone gets angry and everything goes wrong and nothing is done well and hatred becomes present. I hate it!

Here my group is doing a project where we keep emphasizing that 'communication is key' and yet in our own group, communication is lacking. Im sad...we need to talk with better attitude control.

I think in this Earth, everyone has communcation breakdowns once in a while. Its only whether both parties put in effort to SOLVE THE PROBLEM!

So, if one party cannot be bothered to solve the shit. Then the shit will remain smelly forever. If both sides can at least try, the shit will definitely be cleared. So, for now, some shit has been cleared in the group. Maybe when we are all less stressed, we cn clear all the shit :)

as for my own life, there is a pile of shit tht will stink my life forever. Too bad, its also shit in another person's life. And unless tht person gives a damn, the other person's life will have a stench forever as well. G'luck.

sucky attitude problem shop

2010-12-20T22:39:00.004+08:00

attitude & service @ level 2 sucks.
esp this girl jocelyn.
period.

note to self: dont ever go there again.

new bangx!

2010-12-20T16:50:00.001+08:00

heres a pre-view for all who havent seen me since...yesterday.
teehee!
i have contemplated to cut this bangx for a really long time now. no regrets! :)

twinny

2010-12-19T20:42:00.004+08:00

it was so good being able to hang out with twinny again. miss her much. whole day chillax at bugis. haha actually, shopping uhs. her + me = laughter! she's going to bring me to bangkok when we grow up and have more money to shopping :D cant wait!

bump into litoo also! hmm, gna meet her again. and saw peiling at JP! :D

弟弟

2010-12-19T20:38:00.000+08:00

i have a lil brother that is not that little any more.! why he grow so fast one... haish. but didi, be a good boy okaye? mummy daddy loves you to bits! teehee. nice acting at the play(though only ! line) but it was loud n clear luh :D

should i buy?

2010-12-19T20:35:00.002+08:00

was at MarinaSquare with Asrinah! and this 2 flower rings ( which are btw damn chio ) cost $10(white) & $12(pink)! expensive but have another 20% discount. still, expensive...so should i buy? :x

yujia bday

2010-12-19T20:34:00.001+08:00

21st Nov 2010

picture speaks a thousand words. we had fun fun fun :D

lesson learnt

2010-12-16T19:43:00.003+08:00

in the year 2010, i learnt a few lessons

never try to patch a relationship in which someone calls you a bitch, ''bitches'' always lose
make each second of your day productive, you'll regret nothing
people are out there to get you, this is a dog eat dog world, always protect yourself first
dont try to help people who dont give a damn about you, cause in the end, you'll gain nothing
the world sucks, just live with it

so here you go. im talking as if my life ends tomorrow. got no clue why but just felt like ranting. anyways, merry christmas earthlings.

havent, no matter what, lucky

2010-12-14T23:58:00.002+08:00

Christmas is coming but
i havent bought anything for anyone
i havent tried to find new christmas clothes
i havent felt the season to be jolly
i havent completed my assignments
sharks its a list of i havents

but i know what i have
i have a family that will love me
no matter what i look like,
no matter who i am,
no matter how noisy i can be,
no matter where i behave stupidly,
no matter why i am gaining weight.

cause after the Fever, i know i am lucky.
lucky to be healthy
lucky to be alive
lucky to have a place called home.